My practice specialty is treating pornography addiction.
I am a recovered porn addict. Yes that’s right, recovered. Unlike what you may have heard from 12-Step programs, (“once an addict, always an addict”), I believe it is possible to live a life free of addiction. As a believer, to say that you will always be an addict, in my opinion, is to deny the transforming power of Christ and the work of the Cross. Additionally, not seeing yourself as redeemed and renewed by God affects your self-image, identity, self-worth, and it is a sure way to miss out on the abundant life that Christ speaks of in John 10:10. I do not promise you prosperity, riches or fame; but that freedom and the peace that passes all understanding are readily available to those who pursue it and believe that it can be found in Christ.
I have walked the road of recovery, and know what that journey entails. I now enjoy a life apart from and without addiction and I am thriving day to day; no longer surviving. Using my own experiences and journey to freedom, I have combined existing researched addiction recovery tools, concepts and approaches into a trauma-informed approach to facilitating healing for my clients. One’s relationship with God (spiritual formation) is at the heart of the program, along with a journey to find Truth – the truth of who you really are – both whose you are and who you are in the greater context of God, His Creation, and His Kingdom.
The program is not a 12-step program in its structure. It has order, with each concept building on the next, and there is a definite path from start to finish. Christian Theology and modern Psychology work together to uncover layer by layer of your current narrative to reveal the real you buried beneath. The following concept is something that I commonly share with my clients, “recovery is less like becoming something new and more like coming home – to the person God created and equipped you to be. Your journey to freedom is your journey to discover the person you really are.”
Some of the elements of the program:
- Bi-weekly support group sessions for the client led either by myself or one of our trained group facilitators
- Weekly counseling sessions
- Regular interaction with a primary accountability partner (I call this person your “advocate”)
- (for Spouses of addicts):
- Individual sessions via a referral to help you find what you need.
- (Marriage Counseling): In my approach, I do not suggest doing couples sessions at the start of the process beyond a preliminary meeting. Many people find this distressing, but I have seen early couples sessions do more harm to the relationship than good. Only after an addict has had sufficient time to achieve extended sobriety and perspective on their addiction and themselves will they be able to see the damage their choices and actions have caused. Yes, they know what they are doing is wrong, but it takes time for them to truly understand the implications of what they have done. When that happens, the spouse who is addicted has enough emotional space to begin focusing on relationship issues. I believe relationship issues to be just as important as the issues in addiction; however, one must come before the other in order to achieve both. Once the addicted client has reached extended sobriety, that signals the time is right to pursue couples sessions.
The “ideal” client for the recovery program is the person who has tried and failed to break their addiction to pornography, has hit “rock bottom” and is ready for freedom. I must warn you, unmotivated individuals may be “fired” as clients. I cannot help you if you do not want the help.